I have a friend named Fran

Lost in Translations

WHEN a foreign language makes even simple tasks difficult

I have a friend named Fran. Fran and I have not been getting along lately. She is helpful, but only on her terms. She blurts out and interrupts me all the time and in an extremely whiny annoying voice. She will start a job and then stop right in the middle. I tolerate Fran because she is the only one who can help me with one specific task.

Fran is what I have named my clothes dryer. Meet Fran. Fran – these are my friends, friends – this is Fran.

Meet Fran
Meet Fran

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

So Fran works hard enough. I am grateful for Fran – don’t get me wrong. There are many apartments in Copenhagen that don’t have a Fran. They hang their clothes to dry both inside and outside their apartments. I can even say there is a charm in watching neighbors from the adjacent building’s courtyard shake out their sheets carefully placing them on the communal drying racks. If I had to air dry my clothes – I would love one of these beautiful functional racks. (I am adoring Scandinavian design.)

Dryp from Skagerak
Dryp from Skagerak

But that’s Dryp, not Fran. Upon our initial arrival, we made use of several airbnb temporary apartments. Most had no Fran. Their towels were scratchy and almost hard from air-drying. If you are used to this, it’s not a big deal. I guess we’re wimps when it comes to our towels. Or just used to a softer fluff. It is what it is. When we moved in to our own place, I was quite pleased to meet Fran. Initially. There she was. New, shiny, clean and mine. Our towels would be soft. Isk (that’s Danish for “ish”).

Three children exude much laundry. I use Fran often. She is difficult to understand. Maybe because she is German. She is Bosch. Bosch is a popular brand here. There are many great neon signs that decorate the Copenhagen skyline attesting to this.

Bosch neon lights up Copenhagen night sky
Bosch neon lights up Copenhagen night sky

I know this is a German company. But I know what German looks like and Fran’s words are not German. So when I set Fran to what seems a middle-isk setting and she calls to me with an insistent BEEEP, I assume that she has completed her task. And my clothes should be dry. That is her task. WRONG. What? What are you BEEEP’ing for? Lint? No. Cleared that. Oh. In these washing machines – you have to empty the water. Did you know that? Luckily one of the former airbnb hosts showed this to me. Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetOk Fran. Water emptied. Start. Again. 5 minutes in. BEEEEP. WHY Fran WHY? I don’t know. In attempt to move forward in my relationship with Fran, I call in help. Google Translate. Moving abroad? Engelsk is not the primary language? Google Translate. Life saver. Don’t know what the parking sign says? Google Translate. Don’t know what that meat is at the grocery store? Google Translate. Don’t know which is the mens room or the womens room? Google Translate. Get it immediately. So I bring G.T. in to assist with Fran.

The app is very user friendly – just type in the Dansk word and it translates for you to Engelsk. Only this is what G.T. tells me.

My own private translator in my pocket - meet G.T.
My own private translator in my pocket – meet G.T.

Hunh. So syntet was probably the only word that I could have figured out myself. Yep. Thanks. What the heck is “synthetic mycket torrt?” Meanwhile. BEEEEP. Dryer stopped again. Clothes not yet dry. Fait no accompli. Boo. Come on Fran. I have other things to do. Like visit a slot or a museet or a kunst galleri. (art gallery.) Many days go by. BEEEEP. Check. Restart. BEEEEP. Check. Restart. Feeling like I am being hung out to dry. Pun intended.

Unknown foreign word in bold, below English translation. Hunh?

So G.T. has another function that had yet to make itself aware to me. Detect language. Why would I need to detect language? I’m in Denmark. Isn’t it in Danish? No, as a matter of fact. Fran is not Danish at all. Born to German and SWEDISH parents. Fran speaks SWEDISH! Is this what you have been trying to tell me Fran? Its been a misunderstanding the entire time! BEEEEEP. Clothes dry. Mama is happy. BEEEEP. Sigh. Restart. At least she isn’t as mean as my oven who calls me names.

Being called out by your oven is so not cool.
Being called out by your oven is so not cool.

10 thoughts on “I have a friend named Fran

  1. Love this. I have had many battles with my washer / dryer in the uk, and have given up on the dryer portion and the promised fluffy clothes that never seem to come out dry or fluffy.

  2. Hahaha, I lol’ed at this post. I don’t have a dryer here in Korea either, but figuring out the washing machine was a mission in and of itself. The only solution I’ve found for crunchy towels is lots and lots of fabric softener. Still not the same as a dryer though… 🙁

  3. Pingback: Man what a dag. | Oregon Girl Around The World

  4. adam

    you sure wrung all you could from that washing machine…check out medina solitaire for an “oregon boy around the world”

  5. This is my exact experience with my washer and dryer here in Copenhagen! Although before I figured things out I did manage to shrink my favorite sweater by 3 times it’s size due to a misinterpreted washer setting. :O

    1. oregongirlaroundtheworld

      Oh no! Boo. Good thing it isn’t so expensive to replace a shrunken sweater here in Copenhagen. Oh wait. It is. Glad you could relate though – thanks for reading and commenting! Cheers.

  6. Sara Anne Kast

    I love this story! It reminds me of a washing machine I knew in Italy. She and I (at least I think it was a she) never did become friends! Thanks for the entertainment and hope you y’all are doing well.

    1. oregongirlaroundtheworld

      Hej from Denmark Sara! All is well. Glad the story was translatable to Italian! Ha! Cheers and love to your family.

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