Questions not to ask an expat but you will anyway

What Not to Ask an Expat


Did you move around the world?

This list is for you. This list is also for those who know someone who moved around the world. You may not know these questions, but we do. We hear them ALL THE TIME. Ok, ok. Maybe a little dramatic. But not really an exaggeration.

These are truly the most commonly asked questions that you will constantly be asked after moving abroad. For as long as you are abroad. There is no statute of limitations for the consistency of these questions. Unless you choose to stop meeting new people altogether. And what fun is that? The more the merrier I say. You never know what spark might be alit until meeting that new person. But I warn you. Before that fire can be sparked, you will have to run the gauntlet of the following questions. It’s a ritual. A never-ending expatriate* ritual.


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Open letter to my newly expatriated self

So You’re Moving Around the World?

Hello you doe-eyed, adventurous, naive, cute little baby expat you. Hi – how are you? Here in Denmark – we say “hej!” It sounds like Hi. Don’t worry – you’ve got that one in the bag. No accent required. Have you moved yet? No? Ok. So – you are still super excited, anxious, about ready to pop, explode inside and get this ball rolling. About as ready as you were to have your first child at 39 weeks pregnant. People just need to stop telling you how much easier it is when the baby is on the inside and how much sleep you won’t be getting. All you want is to meet this little creature kicking and prodding you and keeping you awake at night. Get out already. That is what it feels like right now before the big move abroad. I get it. You want to start the starting. Move already.

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Valentines Day American Danish British

Valentine’s Day is not the same to a Dane (or a Brit.)

There were things we knew before even stepping on that plane – flying us around the world from Portland, Oregon to Copenhagen, Denmark. Our family of five was very aware that some cultural assimilation would be a baseline requirement in making our expatriation successful. Language barriers aside, there are little cultural norms and rules that make a society tick and operate smoothly. On the surface, life in Denmark is not radically different from our life in the United States. And because we “look like the locals,” there is a blanket assumption that we will know, understand and adhere to all those little rules. Danes like rules.

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Copenhagen Denmark Finding Clarity In Fog

Finding clarity in the fog

Today in Copenhagen, the city was shrouded in a thick and dense fog. The white-charmed snowy blanket of last week has become threadbare and dingy. I knew this was coming. The fog weighed heavy on the landscape, compressing the already small city into tiny vignettes whose borders were obscured, edges dulled. My husband and I, unable to lure any of our littles outside to investigate, took off on our bikes to catch the 1:00 PM tour of Marmorkirken – the Marble Church – downtown. We’d made an attempt last weekend, only to miss it by minutes. The sign posted outside is completely serious about that 13:00 SHARP time. For some reason I was drawn to try again today – despite the fog. Upon arrival, we assessed – plenty of time, but do you think we’ll be able to see anything up there? Don’t know. Should we pay the 35 DKK ($5) each to go up? I don’t know. No risk, no reward – right? Could be amazing. Could be the image of the day waiting to be captured up there. Maybe it’s ABOVE the fog. Maybe. Let’s do it. (As it turns out we make a lot of decisions – good or bad – this way.)

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